As T'Paal sat in the galley sipping her spice tea, she wondered why she had told the Admiral that he was in her thoughts as she departed. At first, she believed that she was tossing a one off to his remark, but as she reflected upon her thoughts, she discovered something more. Something tied to her emotions. It was that thought which unsettled her. "Emotions are the bane of a Vulcan" she whispered.
From birth she had been taught to control the emotional aspects of her identity. Some outsiders mistakenly believed that Vulcans had no emotions. But nothing could be further from the truth. Indeed, it was their strong and unbridled passions that had nearly destroyed them. Their world in ruins, radiation poisoning their surviving populace living as savages in the ruins of once great cities saw the rise of logic and dispassion surmount the ashes of their people to save what was left of them.
The Vulcan rigor for logic replaced their raw passions and the Vulcan people were saved, but not without cost. The Sundering of the people that departed under the raptor's wings was the most terrible. But there were others. The attack on Andoria and the terrorist strike on the Federation would be two of them. There was even a report that a Ferengi outdid Vulcan logic once. So T'Paal knew that Vulcans were certainly not infallible nor our logic perfect. She sighed wearily
"And here I sit with desire for a human," she mused. It wasn't merely desire though. She had slept with many humans, both male and female in her work. No, this was deeper and far more romantically linked. And it was that realization that troubled her the most. Sex was one thing, but the emotional entanglement from romance was another. The proprietary interest was foreign to her from an emotional standpoint. When she agreed to the ritual to restore a portion of her emotions for covert operations, she never imagined that something like this would be possible. Now, here she was faced with new issues with which to grapple.
She knew that other Vulcans had wed and had families with humans. The most famous of these couplings was that of the Vulcan ambassador to Earth. But emotion had no place in that decision, not on Sarek's part, at least. It was simply the logical choice. But this isn't logical, she thought. This is emotional. She knew what she heard of the man, she knew his reputation, knew what he looked like, and there was no inkling of emotion in any of it. There wasn't even any desire for sex! Now, she can't even think about him without her body responding and it was so very...frustrating. And that was another emotion that she could do without!
She went to take a sip of her tea, but found that the cup was empty. She got up and went to go and replicate another. T'Paal vaguely remembered having slight emotions as a very young child, but this was an entirely different thing. "I don't even know if it will get any worse," she said to herself. Then she thought about what she had just said and how it was illogical to have even said it. Her frustration increased. After retrieving another cup of spice tea, she walked over to the computer station. "Computer." "Working," the station replied. "Bring up information related to human mating rituals with an emphasis on romance and emotions." As T'Paal began to study the information, her agitation lessened. She hoped that she would have a handle on her problem in the next few hours.
L'Miren glided up to her herald. "Contact T'Ket. Inform her that I need to speak with her." after her herald had departed, L'Miren returned to her thoughts. The information provided by the Solonae was disturbing. Either T'Ket was involved or she was compromised. L'Miren had to find out which before she relayed any information to The Other. She wished that her sister M'Tara was still with her, she would know how to handle this. At that moment, a portal opened and T'Ket stepped out. L'Miren turned and greeted her, "Sister."
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